paul19510 She appeared into my life while I'm in my worst possible frame of mind. I enjoyed her company very much. She understood and guided me to view things differently. She was there when I was down. There was no judgement from her.
Yesterday, I didn't respond positively while she was resting her head on my shoulder, our arms touching, etc...I just stood there like a damn pillar. I didn't want to respond nor do I wanted to reject her. It's selfish. I wanted the affection but couldn't give any. I don't want to hurt her.
She has a bad childhood and this has affected her choices as an adult. Cycles of relationships. She has searched everywhere for her unhappiness including self-help courses, spiritual guidance, etc. She's aware of her past and found much answer in Buddhism. Her answers to me is almost always along the spiritual path.
What I see in her, I saw XW. XW has a bad childhood too. Problem is one is aware and the other is not. What did she see in me begs another question. I couldn't offer anything to her. A dad with 2 kids. Struggling financially. She was there while I was a wreck. How in the world is that attractive at all?
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
