me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
You seem to think that the DR book is THE ANSWER to every problem in the M. Or some magic potion. Dead wrong! The DR book is only a GUIDE with suggestions, solutions, and soap suds to save your M. (yep, I added soap suds just for fun )
There are FAR TOO MANY variables that influence the DBing process. One can be a DB Master and yet the WAS is still far too gone or ins't interested in reconciliation at all. That is why I emphasize that it takes two to tango. The chapter 4 is absolutely worthless if the OTHER PARTNER won't or doesn't want to tango. Hence, you can only CONTROL yourself.
You cannot force the WAS to stay married to you if they DO NOT want to....whatcha gonna do about this? On the other side of the coin, the LBS eventually discovers that they don't want to stay married to the WAS either because they are too broken beyond repair.
Wonka...you are my Yoda ...well you and bug.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Do you have a parenting plan that you will propose?
Have you given thought to exactly how it may work? By this I mean have you planned for day care, after school care, sick days, etc.?
If not, I suggest you do. You want to have your ducks in a row should your W ask or anyone else for that matter.
Have a good weekend dude!
Peace,
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Do you have a parenting plan that you will propose?
Have you given thought to exactly how it may work? By this I mean have you planned for day care, after school care, sick days, etc.?
If not, I suggest you do. You want to have your ducks in a row should your W ask or anyone else for that matter.
Have a good weekend dude!
Peace,
Way ahead of you pink tutu man.
Quote:
Speaking of 50/50 custody, you say you want it but are you really aware of all that it involves? I have had 50/50 custody of my three children for over six years and let me tell you it’s not always easy. Are you prepared to adjust your work schedule when they are with you? Stay home when they are sick? Get them to and from school and all afterschool activities? Have everything they need at your house so they are not going back and forth? Adjust schedules in case you ever have to travel?
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
I have to day that you are way off base on this y21. I believe all of us here wish to save our marriages. Many of us filed first to protect our children not end the marriage. I know Melissa dis that. I know I did that. My attorneys actually know I am praying for the restoration of my marriage. I have tol them and they always ask are you still wanting this to end before the final trial. Filing does not mean You don't want to save your marriage. And another thing y21 on one if your posts you stated I believe an affair is not wrong it's just a choice. Bluntly an affair is wrong. There are issues that are wrong and black and white. Honestly most of your posts hit me completely the wrong way. If you had children you would understand that a true father or mother would die for their kids. Scorp I apologize for hijacking your thread but I just had to get this out there. Scorp we are standing with you on this.
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
I believe that Ye was meaning that an affair is a choice and clearly it is and since you can't control that person you need to deal with the reality of that and move on accordingly, however you choose your response to be. It may well be wrong but his larger point, I think, was about acknowledging reality. I think that Ye is trying to help. I appreciate his many posts.
All of us here would fight hard for their kids, but there's different kinds of fighting. Ye was just trying to help and there was nothing malicious in his posts, IMO.
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