As far as custody goes, of course that is a big deal. That is something you fight like mad. The only reason he wants it (or is saying he wants it) is because it is another way to try to control you. Do you really think that is what he wants? No! He is just using your kids as pawns again.
Brian
The only reason a father would fight for custody of and time with his children is to control his W? This is certainly a possibility, but it's not only mind-reading, it's mind reading a complete stranger AND possibly fueling Melissa's fire. I don't think any of those are good ideas.
Mic posted in this thread that men typically go after their wives via the kids because that is the woman's weak point. Conversely, a man's weak point is money. Perhaps that is the norm, but I know that *MY* weak point is my kids. I have my whole life to earn money, but only 4 kids that are growing too fast. If XW wanted to hit me where it hurt the most, it would be with my ladies.
I do like what 25yearsmlc wrote about letting this play out:
Quote:
1) he realizes that child care costs and the hassle factor of having them that much, wakes him up to the reality that YOU will need to have them more than he does;
OR
2) he really steps up to the plate and becomes a better, more loving and selfless present, father...I mean, geez, would that be so terrible?
Melissa,
I think you're correct in that you need to get back on track. Detaching so his actions don't affect you is critical.
All the best,
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
