I told my wife "if you leave our marriage like this, I have absolutely zero desire to be your friend, and I feel like I should be clear with you about that."
She told me it was THE single thing that she missed most about our marriage -- my friendship -- when she decided to end her affair and come back.
I do think it's a little different when there's infidelity involved, but I am NOT of the "be their best friend" camp. I did tell her "However, if you decide to end your affair, come back and work on our marriage with me, and if after some period of time -- say, 12-18 months -- it doesn't look like it's working, then I do think we could end the marriage amicably and end up being friends."
