Ye21...just read your other post ...I have been doing things to GAL but still making myself available. W said she wanted to do happy hour today and asked if I would get the kids from school. I said sure. W said she's going to some going away party tomorrow night and asked if she should get a sitter ...i said I'll hang out with them ...maybe I should tell W to get a sitter and I'll go to a movie?
In your post you say by "deciding to GAL we are showing ourselves not available to their choice, and that made us valuable, valuable to ourselves." I'm still making myself available ...I'll have to quit that ...definitely has been making W's life easy.
Your next quote "No Spouse its going to reconcile in a healthy way if they haven't miss you or suffered a withdrawal and worked on themselves..." Tough for W to miss me or suffer a withdrawal when we still live together and I do the same stuff like making W coffee in the morning, packing her and the kids lunches, dropping the kids off at school or picking them up, taking kids to dr appointments, etc etc. If anyone has ideas for someone in my sitch on how to get W to miss me or suffer withdrawl, please let me know.
And your last quote "You need to step out of her circle and just do your life, you start doing things by yourself, yesterday you could it be in the movies, playing video games with a friend, running around town, cycling or whatever.... Dont be so "available" because it means unattractive.." I can see being available as unattractive in light of D filing ...i did find my W being "available" attractive when things were good between us. I do need to step out of her circle...might be tough to do when we are both home and have to get stuff done ...but when she's getting ready to go out, is out and then comes home ...i need to not be there ..nor care what she is up to.
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
