You just responded yourself Look, she is going out... She needs kids to be taken care off...hubby its my savior...he can definitely solve my problem...and yeah hubby solved problem but dude dont botter me calling me all the time!! We are not together you were only my babysitter!! And you tough you were doing her a favor..... My friend you have to follow sandi rules yes or yes and you need to GAL, if she sees you are always there when she needs things to be done... Whats stopping her of trying new relationships and many other things?? Lets see, your W as any other W they know what they had when they were with you, they know you can take care of kids and all those daily tasks... Now this is my example: imagine you have a car and one morning you wake up to work and ups car its gone..... Tension, fear, stress, a bunch of feelings arise and you call out to your job because of this...and here comes the worst day you will have...at the end of the day car comes back...peace, calm and relieved feelings.... Next morning again car its gone again the same....but this time never comes back so time to plan what to do...
Well this is how your W sees you now, like the car in the driveway, she doesnt even pay attention because you are always there for her.... When we decided to GAL we are showing ourselves not available to their choice, and that made us valuable, valuable to ourselves. Do you understand that?
No Spouse its going to reconcile in a healthy way if they haven't miss you or suffered a withdrawal and worked on themselves...if they come back before that happens the R might die totally.
You need to step out of her circle and just do your life, you start doing things by yourself, yesterday you could it be in the movies, playing video games with a friend, running around town, cycling or whatever.... Dont be so "available" because it means unattractive...
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
