Ok, so yesterday after our FT, my W asked to go for a walk. I should have declined, as she proceeded to tell me that I controlled her and prevented her from achieving her goals by having kids with her . This was both shocking and frustrating to me. It also shook me to my core, because it gave me some insight into her viewpoint right now, and where I am perceived in this. I know you already showed me this Sandi, but man, that stung last night. I was called manipulative, controlling and all kinds of bad words . I really just need to not spend any time or have any convos about anything at this time
We are establishing a schedule, and the FT is not concerned about her self harm. Not sure why, but she seemed to think my W was more stable than I think. Doesn't really make sense to me, and made me feel like I was imagining this was a risk.
I came away feeling like there is no hope, at all. I can't see anything positive on the horizon, which is depressing. My tough love approach that I have begun to slowly implement is working to provide space and distance, and reduce pressure, but she is really just getting further into her affair.
I am not really sure if I should now go through the process of formalizing a separation agreement, as I feel that that is part of LRT, but I understand that once I begin that process, it cannot be an idle threat. But then again, aren't I already facing a divorce?
Is starting the formalized separation agreement a good idea? Or should I just try to keep status quo with an established schedule?
Also,on a side note, she really wants to purchase new cars right now, because everytime she sees the minivan we have, she said she despises me for buying it. So difficult. I do need to get a new car, by I feel that it would be ridiculous to buy a new car until our situation is clarified a bit more. She also said yesterday she has noticed my changes , but feels they may be too late. I am really trying to avoid relationship talk etc, but she frequently brings this up
I'm just going to have to a avoid any contact I think. Argggggh, no one said this going to be easy, but I have to realize I'm not going to see any signs for awhile. I'm usually so results oriented, it's hard to change that
