Very true Lost. I have taken full responsibility for my mistakes in my M. I had hoped that in time my W could forgive me and we would at least try to save our M for our children. That has not happened and I cannot wait any longer.
I hope things work out for you in your situation. Only you will know when it's right to file or to go a different way. It's a huge decision, maybe the biggest you will ever make.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
I have a question Scorp7... Whats the reason that brought you to DB?
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
So Scorp, are you starting to see how DB is more about saving YOU than what you were originally after?
Do you see how you are the priority here? And why?
Control is impossible Detach from the emotion of this Be your natural self Earn back your self-respect Assign responsibility equally Realize this process will improve you
Ok... Its cool If you want to save your M why you want to follow your way as "the way?"
How many times did I judge your behaviour or thinkings or choices? None right? Thats correct, I accept you the way you are, completely how you are.... Do you? Do you accept when you do a "mistake" do you think that thats the way it has be at that point and its fine? Can you accept that the way you show yourself and the energy you show its what it might be making your W not be receptive ?
What you had tried it didnt work, neither made you feel happier, neither mad your W sees you in a different way... What are your options now? You can divorce and f your W out of your life, and tell everybody how crazy she was and what a B**tch and whatever you want..... Then you find another woman and want to marry again....she leaves you again....another B*tch...woman jus svcks right?
Your M will be whoever you wish, but I have the feeling that you are giving up because of fear....and you want to make this more agitated because you feel that is making you feel better.... Thats only in the short time, all you are doing today all this actions will have consequences...and you are acting in a way that you are the one who will have to face those consequences...
I dont have kids but you do, and this is something you might want to think about it...one day one of your kids might approach you and say:
Dad why you fought mom like that? Why you changed locks and treat her like that? Why you did that to yourself if months earlier you loved her? Why you did that instead of just accepting her the way she was? Why were you so obsessed in being "right"? Dont you see that no matter what, we carry your blood and we will always love you even if we weren't with you? Nobody could replace our biological father...
I want you to see that now you are choosing, not right or wrong...just choosing
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
I can't STFU on this one . . . ye21 I think you are way off base here.
Scorp cannot (and should not!) accept his W the way she is right now - she is selfish and controlling, to the detriment not only of scorp, but of his children.
I think if one day his children ask, "Dad, why did you fight Mom like that?" he can answer, with his head held high, that he did it for them.
ye, your post makes it clear that you haven't read any of scorp's threads. You should do that before you come preaching to him.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
YE, just checking, how is your sitch going. you haven't posted in a little while? you sound like you've found a groove that's working for you. How is your reading of the materials going? I hope all is well
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
