Ok no worries, you dont recover from this in a week or two, it might take months or years, but I have good news for you, you found the right path by accepting the situation, thats the only way you can survive this. Look I realized all this like 3 weeks ago, I am not recovered yet it hurts sometimes a lot still but I am learning to live with that pain. And I know than the more time that passes the truliest I will be able to accept everything around me... I dont expect that to happens in weeks but one day I will walk around and I will be able to say to myself, I accept everything the way that it is.
I work as waiter now and when I am working and I see a table of girls, it comes always my W to my mind, when I see people dating for the first time...kissing, drunk girls in the street, all that makes me thing..is that what she is doing? And then A strenght inside of me tells me...maybe, that might be what she needs now, maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she is talking about wedding and kids...but thats what she chooses, and its valid, is she happy? Maybe she is really happy... I have no idea but those toughs doesnt made her come back...
All I have clear is one thing, she walk away and I can tell you it was her choice, now on the other side its me, myself, my life and my will, and as much as I want her back, I dont want my old W back, the one who runs away when things are not as pleasant, the one with insecurities that drive her to do things without thinking first....I want a W that works on her fears, that loves herself no matter how she looks, that holds her life together and thats the version of my W that I want... I know for that she will need time, I dont know how much but not a couple of months... And thats where I focus myself in to love myself to make that my mantra, my way to live life, a life where I dont judge myself when things go in a direction I wasnt expecting... And if she doesnt reach that level why we will be back for?? Every sitch hurts, she left and her family never texted me or call me, nothing, her words keep sitting on my brain, but again, that was her choice and thats how she wants to live...I have the same fears that you have, but one day I will be with that W who accepts herself in the same level, and if its not her let me tell you something, I always say, thank God for doing for me what I couldnt do for myself...
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
