This, That and The Other

[labug]

Interesting questions.

Bug, good to see you are making some progress. I’m learning about patience too.

I remember when I read one of your previous posts when you said that you decided to give it a try with H. How sure were you about wanting to try with your H instead of starting new with somebody else?

It wasn't a question of wanting to try with H instead of someone new, my hesitation would have been because my life was pretty great without him. I didn't want to lose everything I'd gained. I figured at some point in the future someone might show up that I would be interested in but it didn't weigh on my mind. If it was to happen, it would happen.

After we dated for a while, I was sure I wanted to try but wasn't going to worry about or attempt to control the outcome.

I can see that the reconciliation process is a lot of work, at least on your part anyway. So, were you absolutely determined to make it work?

First, I know it's been work for both of us. You only hear about my process here, his is his but I think you can see some of his changes in the scenarios above. All R require work from both parties.

I'm not determined to make it work. I'm determined to be present every day as my best self. To be open, honest, respectful and to communicate my needs, my love and my anger. I watch for creeping resentment and figure out how to deal with it if it's there. (I have some right now that I'm working on ;/ )

I practice gratitude.

If I'm consistently doing those things and it doesn't work, then I don't want to be in that R.

It does sound like a lot of work but what I consider the hard work is only a small percentage of the time we spend together. We have more fun and good times that we did in the 5 years before BD combined.

Do you still have any doubts?

Hmmmm...I don't have doubts, I think because I have very few expectations. Yesterday was good, today was good, we'll see what tomorrow brings. I try not to worry about tomorrow, or look too far into the future. That was one of my problems in the past.