One year in but a newbie

[Lifes Twists]

Thanks for the advice AS and bunches.

Tonight was another adventure and I am not sure how to view it and what way to go. I picked my oldest daughter up from college and brought her home for her spring break. When we got to the apartment I helped her carry things in. The anger as I entered was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I had only planned on dropping daughter off and leaving as soon as possible. My wife asked me to stay and help with the kids homework. Since it was for the kids, I stayed but could feel a lot of anger in the room. When the kids went up stairs I asked the wife what was wrong. She vented about the daughters, how she could not stand them, how unappreciated she feels after all she has sacrificed for them. I tried my best to validate her. middle daughter came down and started to lay into her, tell her she was always negative, etc. it was at that point that I think the real reason for some of my wife's anger came out. All she ever wanted was to make sure our kids go to college and get a good start in life. She showed me a piece of paper she had put together the financial situation as she is finally seeing it. She has proposed that the only way we can get the girls through college is to combine our living expenses and put a good size portion of our joint income towards the kids education. She has proposed that we look at the possibility being in an apartment together. Right now she sees it as a roommate situation and a means to getting the girls through school. I have not agreed to this. I have said we can discuss it and work through it to see if we can make it work.

Is this a small step towards her waking up? Should I see this as a small positive sign or should I run away as fast as I can? Will this lead to a a huge setback or does it have the potential to lead towards better things? I want to do what is best for my daughters. I told my wife I would think about it and that we will talk more this weekend.

I have a lot to think about and will probably loose sleep over it. Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated.