You've had some good advice. Your H has been rebellious with boundaries and often a cake eater. Maybe this would be a good time to really sit down with yourself and reevaluate your sitch. Where you've been, where you are, and where you want to go in the near future concerning the kids busier schedules.
This may help you to reestablish boundaries and find that strength again. It might help to review your posts over the last months and see your growth. There were times when you were tough as nails with your DB.
I recently reviewed my posts and was blown away at the rollercoaster of emotions I have had. I know I feel that way often, but to read it was an eye opener. (Causing me to do a lot of reflecting and thinking)
I don't know why he would have used the word "frail" but maybe that's your sign to make choices for you and stop worrying about what he thinks. You can still DB and have a PMA and say 'No' to his boundary pushing.
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014