So she asked for a divorce a few days ago. I told her it's not what I wanted, but I won't stand in her way.
Good job! Now, let her do all the work. If she asks you for specific info then provide it in a timely manner, but don't assist beyond that. You may find that she doesn't ever bother starting the paperwork, especially if you stick to your DB'ing and remove all pressure from her.
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If I want this to reconcile in the future (part of me does, but part of me knows I will be ok without her), do I at any point mention that I know her EA/PA was continuing?
I agree with Brian and Zew, exposing the affair only fosters resentment in the WAS and drives them deeper undercover. Don't pretend you don't know anything, but don't confront her about it either. If SHE wants to reconcile, THEN it's time to lay out some boundaries regarding no contact with OM, access to her phone and email, etc.
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Or do I just never say anything until she brings it up some day?
If she brings it up then just act like it's old news.
