I seriously doubt that the tiff you had tipped the scales. Generally, they have been thinking about re-evaluating their lives for 18-14 months prior to the BD This may have been the excuse he made to you to make himself look better and you the bad guy. Please don't drink the Kool-Aid he's offering you and do not take on his guilt for what he's thinking or doing. You didn't break him, therefore, you can't fix him.

As for going dark again, just remember...he's got to finish up his crisis or he'll repeat it again at a later time, i.e., he didn't finish up the first time and he jumped back into a relationship w/you w/o doing the necessary work to heal himself and the relationship. He will continue to repeat his crisis until he either finishes it or grows old and passes away. The best thing to do is step way back and allow him to complete it. Using the dark technique is to help you...not to win him back or try to snap him out of it.

I know you love him and want the man you knew back, but it's not going to happen any time soon. His crisis has to end on his time clock, which is very slow. It's frustrating and can be scary for the family...but it's best to just leave him be as much as you and give him space.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.