Need help saving my family - part 6

[Scorp7]

Hi Scorp (again)
I read part 1 and 5.
I have a WAY better feel for this now.

Scratch what I said earlier as the police will be of no help at this point in my opinion. This has been going on too long.

|Your threads are PILED with awesome advice!!

I've noticed that you are finally coming around to playing it a little harder.

The key here (and repeat it to EVERYONE) is YOUR kids.

EVERYTHING you DO and SAY has got to be framed as in their best interest.

This is not about your W. An interesting thing for you to know (and feel free to Google it as I don't recall the source) is that the MOST important influence on a female under 10 is HER FATHER!!!

You got two, my friend. And every day that you aren't there to be a male role model is affecting them. How you behave (take charge; get it done; strong and fair, etc) as a male role model will affect their future in ways you can't imagine.

I hope that puts enough fire in you to stop waiting and start doing.

What your W wants is immaterial now. She "acted" to show you what she wants. "The kids, the money, and a doormat"

You fully control number three. And that's her key to the first two.

If your L doesn't respond with the urgency or passion required to get it going, GET ANOTHER ONE!!

In any contact w your W (and let her come to you!), you stress that NOTHING will happen about anything until the custody issue is resolved.

I'm actually surprised that your L advised you to keep paying her. Cutting off her unofficial support would have changed her tune pretty quickly. My ex was told by her L to stop contributing to our mortgage to force me to capitulate.

I did not play that game. Tightened the belt and kept going.

The hardest part you face is the time that she's had it her way. See my comment in first post about Law of Precedence (Status Quo) The longer a sitch has been a particular way, the harder it is to change.

You should feel an unbelievable urgency to change how it is right now.

It's time to DO.

Your kids are counting on you. And watching.

What has your L said about the BS arrest she had made on you?

Thanks AKHope, I had missed your posts. My L seems to be decent to pretty good. I think the main thing is she saw that I was wishy washy on filing for D but now that I have my head on straight I think she'll be good.

With the CS, she said if I didn't pay it now my W would simply have her L file an order with maintenance enforcement and they would come after me for it. Not sure how that works considering custody is far from decided yet. My W is not contributing to the mortgage at all but if she's trying to pressure me with that she may end up going down with me as both our names are on the house.

With the BS charge she filed against me I have agreed to a peace bond. Not cool since it's a totally false charge but I can't take even the small chance of somehow being found guilty. If that happened my career would be over and I have a pretty good one.

I agree with everyone saying I need to get going on this with my L immediately. I got stuck in thinking my W would stop with this insanity but I can't wait for that any longer. I just pray it's not already too late.