It is impossible to know for sure how things will turn out. You do not know RIGHT now, what kind or co parenting R you will have with your H's. You really do not. You also do not KNOW for sure how the kids will deal with it - now, next year, Pre teen years, teenage years, etc.
Personally, I really like the notion of a flexable parenting plan, with a default schedule should you both not agree. For example: In my divorce we agreed to a "fexiable and liberal parenting plan with both parents spending approximately equal time with the children". Should both parties not agree, then the defualt schedule is Wed, Thurs and every other Friday, Sat and Sun. It is a pure 50/50 split and the default schedule gave both me and my ex weekends to ourselves.
Although my agreement states "flexiable and liberal" ...we usueally follow the default. I have almost no interaction with my ex (which I like), so following the default made the most sense for the kids. At first it was weird for the kids, but they did get used to it and now it is secound nature to them. They know Mon and Tues are moms, Wed and Thurs and dads and every other weekend they switch.
In terms of acting like the brady bunch - ain't happening. Nope. I choose not to live a lie to myself or to the kids. Bottom line, I can be civil to thier mother but really I have no desire to be her "friend". She is the mother of my kids and I respect that about her. I respect the M that was and the person that I was married to. Who she is today is someone that I would not say is a bad person; although her choices were not the greatest, but she is not the type of person that I would want to hang out with. So why should i be fake in front of the kids. In the end, I am respectful towards her and civil. Maybe it changes in the future - I dunno but I do know this....that I control what and what I do not allow in my life. I cannot blame her for that.
Sorry for the rant...my point, is taht you do not have to decide everything NOW. You can choose not to be buddy buddy with your X today and then change it later. Do not get hung up on trying to figure out your entire life. Life does not work that way...it flows..
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
