Great post up there, Eric. I feel like I have kind of lost my way lately with DBing, and have gone more the way of just being pissed off at my H and annoyed by his increasingly selfish behavior. I need to reset, and what you posted above is a great place to for me to start.
3boyz, I am curious whether you have spoken with a child Psych about your sitch at all. I think that we, as mothers, tend to think we know what is best for our kids. And I think that we do, for the most part. But, I know I have to admit that as much as I try, in this crazy emotional situation, I am not sure I can entirely separate my desires from the best interest of my kids. I did speak with someone right around BD, but now that we are discussing permanent plans, I am going to see another expert who can help me to make the right decisions. What I am wondering about in your case is the family time - I wonder if that is confusing your boys and that is making this harder on them. I'm not saying it is, I am no expert. Just saying it's something I would want to ask about. In fact, I will likely ask that question myself. First I wanted family time because I was trying to get H back. Now I don't want to be around him, but he wants it for the stated reason that the kids should see we get along (but I think it's really because he thinks that the kids won't be as mad at him if they think I like him). Anyway, none of that matters other than what is best for them, which is why I think it's good to have a neutral opinion from someone who is familiar with this stuff.
And 3, I am struggling right there with you with a lot of the same things. Just remember that, back at BD, we never thought we would be where we are now, right? So we are capable of a lot of growth, and I think that as long as we keep practicing and doing our best, taking the great advice here, and moving forward, we will get to the place we ultimately want to be.
(((3)))
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
