I had a conversation with H last night about the kids. We kind of left it up in the air. I really am not sure what to do. I actually think that it has more to do with my mindset than actual logistics.
H has no problem with a flexible schedule. I know this based upon his comment months ago that he pictures us having family dinners even if he is remarried. He still thinks that this is a no brainier.
When I expressed some hesitation, H made a point to say that I should focus on doing what is best for the kids (insert eye roll coming from the guy who admits that he gave up and refuses to try to keep our family intact). He believes that the kids are fine now because we are both better parents. I told H that I agree that we are both better parents, but that does not mean they are fine. They deserved for us to be amazing parents from day one. He claims that they get everything that they would receive if we were together. I agreed that they are getting lots of love, but that they are still missing out. Twice this week the boys cried because we could not all eat dinner as a family. I know that the kids will service. I just hate that he down plays the consequences of his actions.
H then said that he understood if I did not want to make a change because I was "frail" and it would be hard for me. I literally wanted to punch him in the face but I remained calm. He apologized immediately and said that frail was the wrong word. It has nothing to do with being frail. I deserve some level of respect!
OW is still in the picture. H refuses to cut ties with her at the moment. While I can be friendly and can communicate regarding the kids, I dont want him in my life on a daily basis. I dont want to do anything to hurt my kids, but I feel like I need to leave this sitch with some self-respect intact.
If my H cared so much about the kids, then we would be willing to cut ties with the OW to allow us to have a friendship regardless of whether we R or D.
Any advice? I really need help getting back on track.
