Last night W met up with GF, to meet a friend of hers for the first time. This friend, I’ll call her “N”, is divorced, has a kid, and like W and GF is about 50 years old. W tells me N puts a LOT of money into her appearance, and it shows. She is, in W’s words, “All about the money”. She’s only looking for guys with big bucks. Sounds like another MLC basket case to me. Even W is not impressed, kinda laughs her off.
Anyways, we start talking about jobs/money. W and I both make about the same amount, our house is paid for, we have no outstanding debt, no kids. We both prefer living well below our means. Just another reason in my mind why we should stick together.
W tells me she's weary with the stress of her job, but is also afraid of losing it. "I feel like I need my job" she’s says. I told her we could get by without it, (which is true) and then asked her what she would do if she quit? Find another job she likes? She feels trapped, because finding something else that matches money wise would be tough.
In line with my new stance to initiate reality talks, and obey the ants in my pants, I told her that we each make enough... together or apart. Even if we split everything 50/50 we’d both be fine financially.
"This present indecision is the main reason I don't want to sign up for a 40k new car right now." I added. W nodded in agreement.
The security of me and my job/money seems a big factor why she never left our home. W likes to have a substantial buffer, money wise. I'm not at all afraid of going it alone.
Her last comment was “I guess what I’m saying is I thought I’d have my job/life figured out by now.”
You know, I kinda thought so too, honey! Let the reality train roll…
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
