I'm sorry you are having a difficult time w/your h. It's not easy when they live under the same roof.
It's difficult going dark when you live under the same roof and more importantly have children that you need to discuss and share their activities. From your postings, I gather you are dim now. Is he doing all of his own laundry, cooking, cleaning up, etc.? If not then I would step back and allow him to take care of himself.
If you haven't read the thread on going dark, I have posted the link below. I hope it will help.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
