Ehhehe this is what you wished right? So far you are doing everything fine, its normal to have fear and its normal the way you feel about all this, you cant prepare for the unexpected with fear, she is the one choosing....in the other hand you are allowed to choose as well, she is separated from you right now, so this is you dedicating time to yourself. Expectations are normally driven by fear and when they dont happen...well we get scared...she wants to talk with you, do you remember how she is taking steps to talk with you? Let her keep doing that, without guessing whats going to happen, the other night you had dinner with her and you had what you called a small talk....2 hours and so... Small? Hehhehe The only thing you can do its show up for yourself, dont tell her a date to talk, just wait and let her choose the day, once she does that just show up and everything will be fine, one way or another. You cant plan what you are gonna say or do because it might end the other way around, but you can repeat yourself till you get tired, one way or the other everything will be fine and whatever she decides I will accept it in a calm and rational way, lets say she says she wants D, if you tell her: Noooooo I dont want that!!! Are you serious? That makes me sad...its not going to change her choice... But my friend you can show her the unexpected... Ok I accept your decission...and keep moving towards loving yourself... If she wants to talk about reconciliation... Honey I would like to work in our problems... Ok, how do you think we can work on that? And listen, only listen, you at this time dont need to give direction, it might come out as controlling, and untill the day you are 100% sure your decissions are not looking to control the R its probably more aproppiate to just wait...
Imagine a fisherman, he trows the bait, a trout comes around testing because she its not sure, only the patient one will get that trout, if you move fast the trout will notice the bait and walk away, so this is the same. Listen to her and one day you will be able to speak openly, the day that you are more safe around her, meanwhile dedicate love to yourself.
Everything will be ok at the end...
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
