I'm so sorry, Bea. You don't need this horse puckey in your life. I hope he fizzles out and I hope someone can tell him he's on the wrong path. But of course, will he listen?
(((BEA)))
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I am so sorry that your XH is still at this. Seems to me that he's unable to let go of the bitterness and holds a ton of anger toward you. Go figure.
Since this keeps cropping up and up, you might want to consider calling in the Big Guns...our beloved Archangels. You might want to check out Doreen Virtue (Hay House author) if you are open-minded spiritually. They've helped me when I was in a real bind a time or two. I've actually experienced the "impossible" happen to me. Whatever works best for you.
Wonka, I am open to anything - I loved the book 'Expecting Adam' which is certainly about angels.
The strange thing is that I am actually very sorry for my xh - to be so angry and miserable must be horrible. Yes, it is hurtful and painful to deal with, from someone I shared the greater part of my life, and have children with. And at times it frightens me because I never dealt with this sort of behaviour before.
I have lived the greater part of my life with people who are kind and thoughtful. Lucky me, and I have been fortunate. No defences against this stuff though.
Fairness, reason and the rest are all out of the window.
I disagree. You've come a long way already. And you are developing new defenses. It just is how it is.
He may run out of things that are difficult, but he won't go away, B. You do know that, right? It's not impossible, but if he was going to figure out how to deal with himself, he would have by now. He shows a great resistance to that. I don't post a lot about my ex these days, but I feel ya; I also feel some sadness for my ex. Not much any longer. It is what it is and I deal with it as it comes up. I have no expectations that she'll go away or stay. I know what the pattern is, but who really knows, right?
Go on being you and you'll get past it.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
AJ I see what you mean, but it wasn't what I meant. I have lived my life not having to deal with this sort of stuff, and it caught me unprepared. A friend of mine was bought up in a family of alcoholics, and she learnt early. and sadly, that people do awful stuff, both due to the drink and to feed their habit. My life until MLC was among people who kept their word, and tried to do good at all times, and the learning curve steep and hard.
I have learnt defences, but it doesn't come natural and it doesn't come easy. As to pity - I think I will always feel that. We were together for 35 years, and that is a long time. He is the father of my grown up and wonderful kids, and I see him in all of their lineaments. So, it isn't going away any time soon. But that is OK.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Bea, Accusations are one thing, PROVING it is another. I can accuse you of being anything all day long, but without evidence, its just talk. Your XH is all blow and no show. Tell him to put up or shut up!
Bea, sorry you are dealing with your X’s antics again. It just amazes me that he finds the energy to go after you like that. You must be on his mind all the time. Does he have other things to do in his life besides bringing up the baseless accusations?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I like what braveheart says...all blow and no show. Also, what you said awhile back is making more sense to me. He may be running out of money and is looking to take some of what he feels he is entitled to by fabricating some story about whatever! You xh is totally out of control and/or whacked out. I'm hoping that there is something that you can do legally to stop this nonsense without spending too much time or money.
You deserve peace and for longer than just a few months or years at a time. Something is motivating him. Whether it's the money or personal issues something has to be done to stop this. I'm sorry that you're dealing this for what seems like the hundredth time.
It's so difficult to see the person that we've know and were married to for 30+ years turn into someone that we no longer recognize. It's almost like they've snapped or that a foreign being has invaded their body. We want to feel sorry for them but what good does that do? It keeps our focus on someone who doesn't deserve it right now.
Just a note, I'm won't be posting on my own thread for a bit. A little breach of security has me worried that my h will start snooping here. The latest is that he received a copy of my attorney's email stating that "spousal support" is necessary. That got his attention in a hurry. He called me at least 6 times within a 2 hour timeframe and get this, tells me that he isn't paying and to "fix it"! What an a$$. He came by a few hours later and was sweet and kind and wanted to go out for a drink. CRAZY!
Take good care of yourself and do what Wonka suggested. Get the Big Guns out. They will protect you and guide you.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
