Anyway, my ex informed me she has a bag of clothes for s3 that she got from a "friend" that she wants to sort through tonight. Honestly, if they are from om I don't want any(I don't want reminders). Am I been unreasonable?(they are just clothes). How do I bring this up? I have a feeling I should just stfu.
2nd, if you want the clothes you should consider it. clothes are just clothes. there's nothing to be gained or lost by what you do here with regards to accepting them or not. you may want to STFU as you say if your only objection is OM. Perhaps that would become an issue.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Fair enough. It will be tough to work through. I took down all of her pictures and artwork because of thoughts/memories that would pop into my head. I still wear her jacket she gave me although that mightve been out of necessity. I gotta think this through. I only have 2 and a half hours.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
"2nd, if you want the clothes you should consider it. clothes are just clothes. there's nothing to be gained or lost by what you do here with regards to accepting them or not. you may want to STFU as you say if your only objection is OM. Perhaps that would become an issue."
Honestly I don't want the clothes and my son is too young to actually want clothes. I might have to stfu and just accept this.
Would any of you guys be bothered by this?
What has my world come to when this is a topic of discussion. Wow.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
I knew my ex was seeing captain cool Saturday night so I did my best to keep a PMA. It was hard but I think I did fine. I played with s3 and built a snow fort during the day and got caught up with some shows at night.
This morning I text her to ask what the plans were regarding s3. She said she could take him for the day and evening. She was going to her friend's son's 1 year bday. I told her I'd drop s3 off at the place of the party for 1. She was already in the neighborhood and didnt need a ride. My mind reading started to upset me at this point. I tried hard to fight it off. I sensed she spent the night and was out for breakfast or hanging out or whatever. Doesn't matter. For all I know she was out somewhere else and I'm trying hard not to give a sh*t. Anyway, she nonchalantly asks if I wanted to stay for the party. I brushed it off and left. She called right away and I could here my s3 screaming in the background. He wanted to see me. That broke my heart obviously so I returned to the party. Had fun there after calming s3 down.
We left the party and picked up some food. She bought us some fast food because it was her cheat day. We ended up back at my place and did the usual. Ate, watched shows, played rock band etc. The day was a mix of fun conversation, silence, her on her phone texting like crazy and me being kinda sick. S3 was a handful at times but it's nice when there are 2 parents on the scene.
Anyway she left at about 11:30pm. Lucky me had to deal with s3 having some kind of weird nightmare where he decides to pee all over me. And he just woke up again while I'm writing this post. Where's momma when you need her?!?!
So ya, usual weird day for me. For someone who wanted out of the relationship, she sure does spend a lot of time with me. 10 hours today.
Hopefully s3 stays asleep for the rest of the night. Crap. He's awake again!!! This is so unlike him. He must be sick. I know I have to go to the walkin tomorrow.
Anyway, I better go and check on s3.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
I found out my ex wants to go to Mexico. I saw on fb of all places.
Do I ask anything about it? She has no money to go on vacation so I can only assume mr. Awesome is paying for everything. Has she thought about our son? Does she just expect me to take care of him while she's gone? It's not like I haven't been doing that already but for a whole vacation? How can she even think about going on vacation when she has a child she barely sees as it is? I'm steamed at the thought of her going away to a place like that with om. Argh!!!!
I feel I need to say something but for all I know it could just her talking out of her ass again. Funny thing is tonight she nonchalantly mentioned needing a vacation and I thought nothing of it because she's been so stressed about stuff. She mentioned she needs to get a passport too. How can she afford that nevermind the trip if she can barely afford rent and bus tickets!!!
I really need to figure out how to act in this situation. My good buddy should get back to me tomorrow morning but I'd also like some insight from anybody here.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
Does it become my business when she decides to leave me completely in charge of our son without telling me about it?
I mean, I can do it(there's no way in hell she'd be able to look after our son for a whole week by herself), but don't I need to know if she's leaving somewhere?
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
Yes, that's your business but you are totally mind reading now. She will likely tell you if she needs you to cover child care. You are just projecting and spinning right now, it's hard and it [censored], but just leave her in her own sandbox.
So basically don't bring up her vacation until she does?
I'm definitely not mind reading when it comes to me looking after our son while she's gone. I'm not mind reading that she is going on vacation, she posted on fb. I am mind reading who she's going with.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
Yes, that's what I would do, not bring it up. Maybe it's a question of semantics, I call it mindreading, you call it something else. Regardless, you don't know for sure she's going, you don't know when she's going, you don't if she's going with OM, you don't know what her childcare plans would be if she should go so-- I would call that mindreading. Dude, I know that this [censored] and it's a hard place to be but you need to unclench around this or the harder stuff is really going to kick your a$$. Stop thinking about this and GAL. The worse that could happen logistically is that you could have your S for a few extra days.
