Thanks for replying. Yes AnotherStander, my H's sport is ultimate fighting. I totally agree with your point that a lot of his unhappiness stems from leaving his career for fighting full time; even though its what he loves to do, he did mention to me a couple days ago that not making a regular paycheck to contribute to the household and not having regular work hours made him feel more depressed, the fact that I was paying all the bills made him feel like less of a man. I haven't posted again over the last few days because I wanted to give myself time to think about something other than my marriage and my H. In the mean time, I've been working, spending time with friends and family, and going to the gym. Mentally, I feel like I'm in a better place. Additionally I have done my best to detach and let my husband cool off, and it's been going really well. So well, in fact, that he has been calling me and FaceTiming most nights. He told me that he misses me, and the other day before I hung up he told me he loves me--something he hasn't said since early December. I've also gotten a lot of insight on why he felt like he had to leave for things to change. I've always been a very take charge person, and he said he felt like he had no say in our relationship: when we moved in together, when we got engaged, etc. That slowly made him resent me, which I understand, I just wish he had have said something before things got to this point. In our conversations over the last few days, he keeps saying that he wants to start over, as in get divorced but stay in a relationship, live apart for a while and then go from there. He says that he would feel less like he "has" to be in a relationship with me and more like he has a choice if we aren't married. Does anyone have any ideas on this? I hate the idea of getting divorced, but the important thing to me is to continue a relationship with my H.
