Hey, the original form of dramamine (is meclizine) isn't very drowsy and it does cure most nausea if given before the ride, each way.
I mean, there are ways to help her if she goes. Good luck
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Mustardseed, thank you. Your post is what I needed.
I spent some time on my 4 hour flight home thinking about all of this.
I need to get back to where I was when I was DBing with the hope of getting my H back. Not in the sense that I am trying to get him to come back, but in the sense that I had a plan then and I was able to stick with my plan no matter what my H threw at me.
I am letting him get to me and throw me off my plan. Not good.
Mustard, you are correct, it would be much easier for me to communicate with him and I would be more inclined to listen to what he had to say and believe it is genuine if he didn't include all the manipulating, accusing, etc. in there. Once he acts like that, I tend to greatly discount his credibility. What I did realize today, though, is that it really pisses me off when he makes assumptions about me, my reasons for doing things, my thoughts, my feelings, etc. So I ought not do the same to him.
I am really struggling with that line between co-parenting amicably and being friends. BC I have zero interest in being his friend. I think I have decided that I can coparent amicably, update him on the kids, send him photos if we are out of town, etc. all in the name of co-parenting, without being friends with him. So I think I am going to try that, even though I know that it will make me uncomfortable.
Anyway, this is how I ended up responding:
Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate your concerns. I agree it could be a good experience for her. Still, I'm really not comfortable with it for the reasons I shared with you.
If you will drive on the trip I think that would be a win-win. I know D9 would love to spend that time with you (and you with her) and I would feel more comfortable knowing she is with someone I know and trust.
Let me know, thanks.
This was the best I could do on this one. He did ask me for the date, so perhaps he is considering it.
Oh, and Wonka, YES, I did enforce my boundary . . . I simply forwarded the email I sent him 10 days ago stating that all D matters need to be directed to his L. I'll be honest, it felt a little bitchy, but it also felt good to enforce my boundary, so I am focusing on that.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
M-I think you handled your choice very well! I'm so sorry you are struggling right now.
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
I'm sorry M. It sounds like you are doing well in this $h!**y process.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
M - You are doing really well given your H's action and this entire $h!**y process. You stuck to your beliefs and desires. You filed the S, which is what you felt conformable doing. You did not want a D, so you left it for your H to take that step. I think it is admirable!
Originally Posted By: melissag
I need to get back to where I was when I was DBing with the hope of getting my H back. Not in the sense that I am trying to get him to come back, but in the sense that I had a plan then and I was able to stick with my plan no matter what my H threw at me.
I am letting him get to me and throw me off my plan. Not good.
Your post really inspired me this morning. The fact that my H is being friendly is throwing me off my plan. I am not really DBing. I just wanted to thank for your the reminder and for inspiring me today!
there is no painless way thru this. That little fact is a biting one but you do have to remember that. I see you on the other side of this, in time, and I send you all the support I can, in getting there.
And fyi, all things considering, you are doing very well, truly. Perfect response, imo.
These ((( ))) are virtual hugs. HERE are some more ((( )))
hope you had a good trip. Can we hear about THAT some? ((((((( )))))))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
