Your sig says he's 4, or do you mean you have 4 kids? Abbreviations around here for kids mean gender and then age, so S4 = 4-year-old son.
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Part of me feels at peace not hanging in limbo.
BD was less than a week ago, don't get ahead of yourself! You're still standing at the starting line of this marathon. I remember thinking that I was accepting the sitch pretty well and detaching nicely the first few weeks after BD. Yet I was shedding weight like I was training for a marathon and I couldn't sleep at night. It was about 2 months after BD that I well and truly crashed and experienced real clinical depression for the 1st time in my life. Wow did that ever give me a newfound respect for just how serious an illness depression is. Anyway, don't have any expectations that you're over this, because you're not. Your feelings are going to slap you around like you've never been before, it's best to be prepared for it!
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Should I begin to separate bank accts or just keep everything the same?
I wouldn't be in a rush to do that unless you see indications that your W is going crazy spending marital assets. But DO keep and save financial records if you've been lax on that before.
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W did ask about property division - which we can both agree on, so far... Should I let her know my thoughts about that or just listen to hers?
Is she bringing this up or you? The division of assets is a negotiation, so yes, you should let her know your thoughts.
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I know the biggest issue for W is 50/50 custody - she has told me she will fight to have full custody. If she moves forward with the D I will seek joint custody and in our state they usually do 50/50 whenever possible. Any advice for how to deal with custody talks?
Tell her you want 50-50 and if she won't negotiate the point then consult a L ASAP. You don't need to tell her you're hiring a L, just do it. If she leaves the house and takes the kids and refuses to give you visitation then you've got a real problem on your hands. It is better to be proactive and hire a L NOW then it is to try and "fix" things after they're already screwed up. Courts will look at past visitation patterns, so if she leaves and you only see the kids once a week and that goes on for months before you start fighting for more visitation, the courts will likely say "you've accepted brief visits for months and now the kids are used to that, it is not our position to change that now". It happens often.
