When she texts you, DO respond -- just not right away (assuming it's not urgent/about your kids). In an hour or two, just reply with something "sorry, busy day -- just saw this. ____________ (then respond to whatever was asked)."
As for how to be around her, if she was just IMMEDIATELY with OM, you don't want to send a vibe like that's perfectly ok. You want to send a vibe that your upbeat-ness and cheerfulness is that you're upbeat about YOURSELF, and that while you never would have wished these recent events upon yourself, you are learning to grow as a man and you're becoming more content with who you are.
I know, that's tough to pull off.
In both instances, try to plow the fertile middle row. No more passive-aggressive, wild swings between "neediness/pursuit" and "anger/scorn." RESOLVE. CONTENTMENT. PERSONAL GROWTH. And a little MYSTIQUE. That's the vibe you want to give off.
Time to get your mojo back, Dev. What "guy" things are you doing for YOU these days??? Any old passions (music, sports, hobbies, volunteer work, etc.?) you gave up that you've always thought about re-pursuing??
