Working on Divorce Busting every Day!

[melissag]

It is NOT sad that you want to be a great mother, and having hope that someday your M will be restored is not ridiculous. Just make sure that you are living your life based on your reality (being a great Mom is so totally possible!) and on your hopes, which may or may not come to pass. There is nothing wrong with having hope, as long as you don't let it hold you back form living your best life.

I am sorry that your parents say and think the things they do. My parents were kind of the same way, so I simply stopped talking to them about my sitch altogether. I told them that I was going to, in the kindest way possible. I think that it really would be hard, as a parent, to watch your daughter (or son) go through this, and as you said, they are only trying to be protective of you. It's just that it's not helping you. So, if I were you, I would maybe just keep them out of the loop and spare them the details from now on.

As for what other people think of your H, well, there is nothing you can do about that. He will put out there whatever he needs to to get people to like and admire him. My H put on his match.com profile that integrity is important to him (HA!) and that he enjoys volunteering. The only time he has EVER volunteered for something in his life is when I dragged him there. Oh well, I can't control what he puts out there for other people, or what those people think of him, nor can you. So don't let it take up too much space in your head.

Also, be careful not to make yourself the victim. The lady at the Doctor's office won't be any more impressed with you if she knows that your H bailed and that you are the one who would be taking care of your D that night. Plus, who cares what she thinks. You are strong - keep being strong and be proud of yourself.