Journal: My L is sending me the first draft of the D filing today for review. I'm to sure what prompted it, but I've felt anxious and stressed overnight. it could be the upcoming change. It could be work. not sure. I keep wanting to ask W: ".....is this what you really wanted....?" Strange how the mind wants to reason it out. Its not something I'm going to get an answer to. So I have to just live with it.
I saw W today in my driveway. She was stressing about her phone (I guess she thought D13 had it...)she could not find it. She was stressing about ins cards for her Truck. I already gave them to her and she misplaced them and needed them for inspection today. She was very agitated. She stopped in the house to ask D13 bout her phone. the stress level went up while she was around.
I found a copy of ins papers for her and provided those for her inspection. She was in her own world about her own issues. She barely rolled down the window for me to give them to her. It wasn't much different when she lived here. W is about W and her needs.
I know this is what has to happen. I'm just having trouble with it today.
going to the gym really helped lower my stress level and raise my happy level. I have to keep that in mind.
Why do I continue to question something that was clearly not healthy for me? Moving on is the correct thing at this point. Why do I feel torn today? W will never know. I guess days like this just happen. Trying to let it ride.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
