I went back to him and said I think I misspoke this morning and did not show you the respect you deserve when I said we are no longer a family.and I do want your family there but it would be odd if I invited them so you can do that. He said great and that will be less work for you. I then asked him if he was going to pay for a few house repairs. These are necessary things heater etc. that need to be done or if he had chosen under his attorney's advice to wait due to everything g going on. He said No I just hadn't gotten to it. And then he says it will be our luck it will be a 90 degree day and the air will be out. I'm thinking one or both of us will not be here this summer because the divorce will be final:( I wisely just said ok.then he again told me how great I look. Again:( I always just say thanks. I feel like I'm doing ok today. Going indoor rock climbing. Never been before and then my mom tells me. I know you seem to be doing ok now but the minute your final paperwork is signed you may not be able to handle it. You need to be careful and not become a partier etc. Sad. Intellectually I know my marriage is over but it still hurts because I have this ridiculous hope it can be saved. My parents keep saying he will never want you back. He will never change. Even if he did you better never take him back. As mentioned in previous posts I feel my mom who I love so much caused huge issues in my marriage. I'm sure these are just cycles. It is sad that all I want is to be a great mother and have a good restored marriage.
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
Ok just got back from rock climbing. Awesome! I will go again. I have missed these adrenaline filled ideas so much. I still wanna try scuba diving and maybe skydiving. Any other suggestions?
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
Hi Mic! I think the rock climbing sounds like so much fun, but skydiving sounds terrifying. I'm scared of heights! It is great that you are getting out and trying new things.
My parents would not want me. to get back with my H either. I think that is normal, they hurt for you and want you to just move past it all. My Mom keeps asking me if I would take him back, and I just say that if he was willing to do the work individually and with me. Anyway try not to let them influence you too much. Stay your course and keep getting out.
M45 H46 M16 yrs D17, D10, D7 DB 1-23-2014 H filed D 2-14-2014
I know one thing when I am finally through this and I have the opportunity to give someone advice I will tell them never leave as triage unless you are being beaten. The aftershocks and destruction to so many are not worth it.
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
Had a personal setback today. We went together to a child's appointment. (His choice) When the young hygenist came out to tell us about our doctor - she would not look at me. (Incredibly flirtatious - I could just tell - And it hurts to know that he is free to pursue whomever he wishes now) Directed all of her attention to him like he was some kind of hero because he was there. I'm thinking do you see our 8 Month old son. This too can be you as he leaves you in a few years. Yes projecting. But it just burns me up that ALL these women see him as this hero dad when I feel/know he is destroying our family. I believe that has been one of big issues. He is an important figure in our area. Tons of woman on facebook are constantly telling him how great he is. In the past we would laugh about it and he would tell me about it or we would joke it off. But now I believe it has went to his head. To his credit today he kept saying - What else do we need to know? Is there anything else we can look for tonight? I felt like telling the lady - Ma'am I need to know this information because I'm the one taking care of our daughter tonight. Vets any way to get past this - I know not my issue but still hurts bad! Also I have realized if he does come back it will not be because I let him walk all over me financially or with regards to custody of our children. I'm standing up more and more in these especially the financial aspects.
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
Have faith in yourself and find strength in yourself. When you do that, you will radiate confidence and you'll find that others will react to it. If you keep thinking that you feel your husband is seen as a "hero" to others, he will be thought of that way. But if you think of YOURSELF as the hero, you will be thought of that way.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Have faith in yourself and find strength in yourself. When you do that, you will radiate confidence and you'll find that others will react to it. If you keep thinking that you feel your husband is seen as a "hero" to others, he will be thought of that way. But if you think of YOURSELF as the hero, you will be thought of that way.
Great advice.
M45 H46 M16 yrs D17, D10, D7 DB 1-23-2014 H filed D 2-14-2014
Oh and another thing that could help is to choose a role model for yourself. Someone who exudes confidence and strong self-esteem. Then emulate them. You can even change your username to something more empowering. Who do you think I modeled myself after?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
