AJ I see what you mean, but it wasn't what I meant. I have lived my life not having to deal with this sort of stuff, and it caught me unprepared. A friend of mine was bought up in a family of alcoholics, and she learnt early. and sadly, that people do awful stuff, both due to the drink and to feed their habit. My life until MLC was among people who kept their word, and tried to do good at all times, and the learning curve steep and hard.
I have learnt defences, but it doesn't come natural and it doesn't come easy. As to pity - I think I will always feel that. We were together for 35 years, and that is a long time. He is the father of my grown up and wonderful kids, and I see him in all of their lineaments. So, it isn't going away any time soon. But that is OK.
