She left - My Story, First Post

[gogofo]

Sometimes coincidences are really surprising. I have been sick the last three days and last night I had a dream that my W came into my office and said she was moving back in, she wanted to end the separation. Talk about a little bit of a bummer when I woke up.

Well tonight I had a work meeting that lasted until 5:30 and when I went back to my office I see I had a missed call and a text message from the W. The text said "Do you want to come to dinner and see the kids, then we can talk?"

I called her back and she said that the kids were asking about me and she would cook us some dinner. This was the first invitation of any kind that she had extended since the second week into our separation. We had had two previous Sunday dinners together until be had a blow up.

The invitation was something new from her, but the words "then we can talk" made me nervous.

On the ride over I worked on my body language during the ride, smiling the whole time, and telling myself to act as if. I did not know if this was going to be a positive talk or a negative talk, so I would assume positive in my mind set.

Got to her house and sat down and chit chatted while she set up some dinner for us while one of the kids napped and the other was on the ipad.

We had dinner and made small talk for 2 and a half hours. She was really into sharing things about work and her doctoral classes. I used my new active listening skills that I have been practicing while she was talking. I was looking in her eyes the whole time, smiling, listening, and asking follow up questions, etc. I really did not have to fake it though as I truly was interested.

I was coughing the whole time and she even offered cough drops, which she never would have early into the separation.

It was really an enjoyable evening for both as we talked and laughed and she even asked a couple questions of me and a little about my work. Again something new for her since BD.

I ended the night as I am sure I could still be there and putting the kids down, but I wanted to get out when we were still doing well in our interaction. Leave her wanting more or at least feeling good about what happened tonight. The kicker is when I left she said she would let me out of the garage and when she came to the door we had the closest body interaction since our last dinner and her body language was not closed off and cold as it had previously been.

I got a little anxious and thought I might get a hug, but I did not wait around for it or initiate it. Again, she was going to have to initiate the contact. I left the garage and she watched me get in my truck as the door went down. She had not done this since BD, and I had been letting myself out since BD.

This was the best most open interaction we have had since BD, and she initiated the visit. I do not know if the kids were asking about me, they are not really that way yet, but I don't care if they did or it was her excuse. We had a positive interaction instead of a neutral one. I don't know if she wanted to have a "talk" or just BS tonight, but BS is what we did for the first time in 6 plus months.

This is by far the biggest baby step so far and I will fall asleep tonight smiling. Trying not to get too excited by this, but tonight felt good.