She's not beautiful right now. She has abandoned her family and us keeping children from you that she would not have without you. You didn't leave her. Man up! Women like strong tough men! If you man up you may at some point get everything you desire. If you don't some other man will. Keep loving her but be the leader of your family. She needs to respect you. She is walking all over you. Is there some other reason your afraid to go for 50/50 custody. Call her bluff. Btw I totally get it is much easier to give advice than take it
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
Scorp, you are at this point -- You can hope for the best, but you have to expect the worst. And it may be much worse than you can fathom. In my divorce, my xH alleged that he should get full custody because he had always been the primary caregiver of our two girls. I was completely shocked. That was a total lie given the fact that I had actually worked at home so I could take care of the kids while he had a full-time job. But, he seemed to believe that tale somehow and actually convinced his lawyer of the same thing. Turns out though that my eldest daughter had won five straight annual spelling bees at her school and he'd not come to a single one-- even though he worked less than a mile from her school and ran the company so he could leave to attend school functions whenever he wanted. But I had been to every single one of her spelling bees and I had pictures of every single one and could tell the judge which word she won with each year. That is how I had to win, by disproving lies with physical evidence. Be prepared for her to do and say the most outrageous things, she may even believe them. JUST BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING and start getting your evidence together. PROTECT YOURSELF.
Mic, I'm going for 50/50. I'd tried to do that without lawyers but the time for that is past. I will always love her but that won't stop me from doing anything I can to make sure our kids have both parents.
I don't think she truly ever knew how strong I could be but she's going to find out now.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
unbidden, thanks, I do have a ton of evidence showing I was there with our kids a LOT. I was with them every day other than a handful over the almost 7 years since we've had kids. One very good thing in my sitch is I have always been a compulsive picture and video taker. I have an incredible amount of pics and vids of our time together as a family. A picture can say a thousand words and a video says a whole lot more.
I'm still taking things one day at a time. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but whatever happens, I'll be ready for it.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
That's the spirit. Great that you have so many pics and videos. They are so fun to look at to remember how the kids looked and talked when they were babies
The thing that is driving me crazy is that I love my W soooOOO much. I've never stopped. I know I was far from the best H, especially the past two years, but overall I thought we built a BEAUTIFUL life together. It wasn't perfect but it was amazing and it was only going to get better. She was my partner and I considered her to be my best friend. How do I just let go of that???
Dude, there is nothing wrong with loving her. But that alone isn't enough for a M or R. Love her....but accept her decisions and do what's best for you. Standing up for yourself, standing up for your relationship with your kids, that has nothing to do with her or your love for her. Not bending to her will doesn't mean you don't love her.
Breakdown, I agree. I do respect her decisions even if I don't agree with all of them. I will likely have to fight for my kids but that won't change how I feel about my W.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
After ahe was executed because of the decission of a jury and a judge, her mom went to her house, she then found out that the kids werent there, she called the autorithies and nobody knew whats going on. The mom went to her bedroom and found a little tape, she went ahead and playe it, it was a confession, a confession of who her daughter had suffered the most incredible abusse ever, he burned her everyday with a hot iron, he needed money to bet and he decided 2 years ago he was going to sell one of her kidneys, after the money was done, he then used the two kids to have still the possibility of betting, untill the day they were so destroyed by everything that he decides to kill both of them... The night she decided to take the decission of killing him, was the night after he told her where the kids were. He told her tomorrow you are going to be sent to this building where you will have to this building, they are going to sell your organs and thats your end....
Right after all this everything went on tv and people was giving their opinions, they comdened her without knowing the truth but they tought at that point that it qas appropiate...
Men are just that men... And we as men think we have the right to judge everybody for what they had done or they are doing, and thats the way we do things... Every law its created because of the fear of men, fear to be poor, to be harm and so on, every single of the laws... We have created with the help of the media our parents and our entorn a mechanism of protection so we dont get hurt emotionally, we are so dependent on others to create our own hapiness that we just judge based in our believes. We certainly can set boundaries to avoid pain, but the only way we get hurt its when we decided that it will hurt us.... Does your ex of years ago still hurt you? She is with other guys... Does it hurts you still? Probably no, but the choices your W is doing hurt you, not because they are right or wrong because at the end you are nobody to decide so, but because you are controlled by fear.
If you spend time in the house with the kids and she is not livking you out, how can you adventure to say that she will? You are putting a patch before the flat. And now, do you think that maybe the only reason she will have to invite you to leave is because of fear? Maybe she is going to tell you to leave because she might be scared of hurting herself, or hurt your kids....if you are not a threat why will she ask you not to come back? You want a miracle to happen... Miracles exist, its only energy in the universe...but for a miracle to happen you have to be in peace with yourself... I dont get you... If you spend time with the kids enjoying and helping them and loving them unconditionally, do you really think she will take that off from her kids? Maybe she will...she has that choice but thats her problem not yours, dont keep giving her reasons to kick you out and more important, dont read the future because we dont know what it brings, instead love yourself and open yourself to any change, dont judge the change, just take it... Open your life to every possibility, you probably dont want to come back here in a few years and say... Man it was me the scared one, she was just acting mature at that point...
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
