Thanks Melissa. I know what you mean, but it's been 2 months and it seems he is pulling further and further away. Sorry but two months is nothing here. He's not had the chance to process your "changes" and your backslides are too frequent for him to believe in any changes on your end. You need to detach a lot and GAL big time, as best you can. And stop thinking anything less than several months of small but note: consistent changes + sufficient time = change he can believe in.
This weekend has been a big setback for me, but I also need him to be aware of my boundaries. He cannot come in unannounced and plan outings and the like without giving me any notice. (That's his thing at the moment!) I expect the same courtesies he demands of me. Stop expecting that^^. Just set & enforce healthy boundaries on your end.
Do NOT let a wounded ego make a "boundary", b/c When we let our egos or pride or anger dictate our response, WE Lose...and often so do our children.
Maybe it's not as bad as I thought. He just invited me to he beach with him and the kids. Grumpily. And he can't go with all 3 without me, but hey it's a start.
why not let him try? IF you do go, do not be anything but pleasant and loving. NO matter what...
if he picks a fight, you do NOT engage. You warn him once not to talk to you 'that way' and if he repeats it, you leave...
This is not complicated. Is it Easy? God, NO....but it's not complex. Just warn and leave if the behavior is unacceptable.
OTOH, you might have a nice afternoon for your kids to remember, and you'd be giving your h something to miss.
He won't miss bickering or seeing your pain and anger in his face. Guilting him will backfire, so don't bother. Become a woman only a fool would leave.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
