How can I still love someone so much how seems to totally loathe me???

You dont trully love her right now, you love the idea of a family, kids, same house and somebody to share all that with you...

You will trully love her when you stop judging what she has done, untill them all you are suffering its a physical withdrawal, the same way a heroin addict when they quit heroin...

I will tell you a story I invented today while in the shower....

Once it was a woman who everybody criticiced for her actions, this lady had done something terrible, she was married and one day once she left her work in a cancer facility she arrived home and went to her room.
Then she started to plan how she was gonna kill her husband, she wasnt happy with him...she then started to fantasize with the idea of not only kill him but to make him suffer a lot of pain prior to end with his life.
Then she went to the hospital and grabbed a very powerfull medicine that will basically make him not being able to move but still able to feel and be awake.

She got the phone and called her husband and told him, honey I will have dinner prepared for you tonight and I would like to have dinner together in a family style.
Ok no problem Ill be home soon....

She then put the poison on his food, he arrived and she was very loving, kissing him and telling him how much she missed him...
He was confussed... Why is she being so nice with me? Well lets eat, then he suddendly felt like he could not move at all, all he could see was his wife smiling on the opposite side of the table...
Honey I cant move!!! I know sweetheart this was my surprise for you, I am going to kill you but I will make you suffer first... She then did the most awful things you can even imagine...after 6 hours of making him suffer....he died

She was arrested and comdenned to die in the same way he did...

Now there is a second part of the story, but please just let me hear something, how could a person be so evil? Why a person can have such a feeling of the right to take the lofe of another??

Please answer to that and I will write down the second part smile you will like the second part...

When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.