I think what it comes down to is the ring isn't me. I've changed. It's from before.
I do get what you mean here. A lot like how people's tastes in clothes change over time. Bell bottoms, anyone!? Out with the old, in with the new. Some people get new wedding rings that reflect their preferences and it could be symbolic for you as well. It is something you may want to consider down the road. It is a personal choice.
It meant a lot to him that I asked him to be there when the baby was born. He didn't think I wanted him there. He was worried that he wouldn't feel the same way towards the baby as he did the other boys, but he did. He fell in love with him the moment he saw him. He is so in love with all the boys and such an amazing father. He is super involved with all of them. I told him I felt like the baby saved my life. I had to take care of me, because I was carrying him. He said that it just makes the baby even more special to him.
You could say that this baby is a DB baby! You're writing new chapters together in your new storybook and this kid is a part of this as well.
And I am having a very hard time feeling "done," because I want that decision to be from me. I don't like that there is a negative feeling there with me being pregnant. I don't like that he abandoned me during that time.
What is keeping you stuck in that place? What is it that's holding you up? Whatever it is, you might want to work through them by asking yourself: "My H will leave again if I get pregnant. Is it true?" With each statement or fear you have, end it with "Is it true". This is classic Bryon Katie. Wonderful writer!
He thought it was good that he moved out so me and the boys didn't have to see him coping and dealing with the depression. He worried about lashing out in anger at me or the boys. And he said he was useless. He just slept all the time. He said when he moved back in, he was still in the thick of the depression
This MLC stuff isn't kiddie pool stuff at all. There's no cure for this at all. The only thing is to just let the MLCer work through their depression at his/her own pace to the other side. When things become Claritin clear, this is what we process post-MLC. Which is why have a hard time reconciling the chit we throw at our spouses with the real, true essence within us. Sometimes it isn't always fun when our empathy chips are back in full working order either.
This applies only to kitty-kitten MLCers. It does not apply to Jekyll/Hyde MLCers. They're just soooo deep in the abyss that there's no hope for them.
The main OW complained a lot to him. He never spent special holidays with her, never this, never that. Wanting him to move faster on his timeline. She is so clueless.
Those OWs/OMs are broken people as well which is why the MLCer engages in an affair with them. For me, my OW was just available for the taking. sigh Talk about timing! And GOOD thing that they're not DBers.
You're writing new chapters together in your new storybook and this kid is a part of this as well.
