You and me...let's get working on that spa treatment! I could use one.
But the reality is that we are now 1000 miles apart and perfectly independent of each other and the most "contacting at a whim" that I get bothered with is a random text less than once a month.
That was my "reality" as well with Ms. Wonka. We're currently more than 1,000 miles apart. Ms. Wonka texted me about once a month...prior to that it was once a year to wish each other HBD. You may not like Skippy's pace, but it is what it is at the moment. For sure, I wanted MORE contact from Ms. Wonka, but I had to be in the place of acceptance that SHE was most probably comfortable with texting once a month.
Ever since my apology letter to her, it ensued a phone call from Ms. Wonka (at her request) and now she's reaching out to me more and more. The main thing for me is STFU and let Ms. Wonka lead the dance.
That is the thing with "expectations"...I am wondering if it is your set of internal "expectations" that are making you stuck in the anger square and "expecting" him to text/contact you more frequently. Is that what you feel here?
I no longer 'expect' Ms. Wonka to contact me every month. It is a nice gift when she contacts me and I act accordingly. Sometimes I'll initiate a text if something funny comes up or just humorous random stuff happens that I know Ms. Wonka would appreciate (and laugh).
What would "unbother" you here, Portia? Is that something you can control from your perspective? What about Skippy?
I do not contact him and to do so that I can open up the blood-letting is drastically unappealing to me.
It sounds like this to me:
"If I contact Skippy, I will GO FOR THE JUGULAR." Is that a fact, Portia?
How about this:
"If I contact Skippy, I cannot be offended and can remain calm."
Because likely he knows that I am angry but like everything else, has lied about it to others.
Honey, this comes across as mindreading to me. Am I right? Are you saying that Skippy has lied to other people about you angry? If yes, then SO what? Why do you care so much about what he says about you to other people?
In my case, I have heard word get back to me that Ms. Wonka has demonized me when leaving me...boy that hurt! Still doesn't or didn't stop me from chipping away at that large glacier---Ms. Wonka. We're talking 10 years of this!! Phew!
