So for all the PMA I am feeling I am still surprised when I have expectations that I didn't realize I had.

Last night h was in s room talking to him for a long time. (It was technically h night with s but he went out and missed bath and meds and getting him into bed) Afterwards s callef me in and said "daddy is sad because he misses his friend" I could hear h crying in the bathroom.

My first thought was "maybe he broke up with ow" and I was happy. What???!!! I am not supposed to care about him or her. My mind ran to how things might change with her out of the picture.

As I thought more I knew it could really be anything. More likely a patient he had become attached to had passed. I did let him know I was available if he needed to talk. He said he didn't want to talk to me so I just left him alone

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15