My biggest check up honestly is not on W but on xAP. I check her out on social media. I like knowing what she's doing for some reason right now... and I am finding that I am happy when she is hurting. I think that makes me sound awful but this is my safe space and I know I can speak my truth here. For example, she posted an unrequited love song late last night. A really heartbreaking song. And I had no sympathy.
My love for my W fuels my empathy and concern for her but the xAP does not get the same from me. Even on a human level I can recognize the need for it, but I can't muster it for her and I'm not going to beat myself up about that. I am just not enlightened in this way.
Hear, hear! You speak for all of us here as LBS with spouses who got into A's.
I am wondering if you and W can schedule some time to make "new" memories together. How about picking up a new hobby or activity together? That is a great way to bond and create new paths in the M.
A while back, one of my aunts arranged a fun outing for her birthday in her town and I so happened to be in her town on a business trip. It was an art-wine thing were you can create your own painting and drink some wine. There was a young couple, mother-daughter, and a small group of young women (one whose birthday was the reason for the celebration) during this session. Fun, FUN!
