You're right Drew, I hope my W will see it that way. She likely can't face to not be with our kids any more than she already has. She is very, very attached to them, as am I, so the thought of giving up half her time with them may be what turns this into a war.
This was exactly true for me as a mom and why, when I fought, I fought so hard. If she loves her kids (and it seems she does), she will take any significant limitation of her time with them as an incredible threat, one that cannot really be faced and so must be defeated. This knowledge is important in your strategy and dealings with her. That does not mean that the strategy in fighting has to be a negative one, perhaps reassuring her that she will always be their primary caregiver might cause her to relax a bit in the negotiations. Nevertheless, this knowledge is important, and likely key.
PS This is my first time trying to use the quote button. I hope it works.
