Reaching out for support and advice 4

[bluesgal]

ye21-Thanks for taking the time and posting to my thread. Every once in a while I need a good old fashioned kicking and screaming tantrum and I know I can't do it out loud at home. I am learning what a process detachment is. N/c is so much easier sometimes, but not a reality with kids.

M-Ground rules are that he's not here when I'm not and we've made a schedule. I feel your pain with your sitch right now. Why is is so hard to take the high road sometimes?

Julie-Ugh, not sure why your mom bailed on you...I hope you find some peace with that relationship. My D did fine with H yesterday. She tells me she amuses him by answering questions, but doesn't reach out to him (breaks my heart)

While I'm glad that she is civil to her dad, it allows him to live in la la land and not see the true hurt of his kids.


I don't really hate Divorce busting tactics!! Actually, I totally get them and wish I were better. And if it weren't for this site, I wouldn't have recognized my H MLC and I would have been convinced he was just a crazy jerk. (Jury still out )

Sometimes I just can't shake the feeling that when I'm in a nice smiley demeanor towards him, it sends the message that his choices are ok. They're not ok to me or the kids or the family or friends. We are not ok with this. But I know accusing, yelling, confronting, getting angry, etc just drives him further away. So, in a sense, I feel like I am tolerating his crap and that makes me feel icky.

I know it's just a mindset. I just need to rearrange my thinking. I'm an awesome GALer. Social calendar is booked. But, I'm still not at the point when I'm doing something fun where I don't wish I could share the experience with my (old) H. Oh what patience this process takes.