I'm in, wife's out

[trc2009]

I am doing well. 25 called me out on points that I really need to think about. I've detatched from W physically, but not mentally. Things are improving but I need to be careful not to slip back into old patterns. Especially if W is giving me indications that she is considering working toward a reconcilation. Because if we BOTH aren't ready, then it could be disasterous.

I've come to find that noticing "change" is an elusive thing. Because W is very hot & cold (same as yours). Well, my wife is warm and cold.

My wife is loosening up in terms of simple communication. That was a huge hurdle early on. Now things are most definitely more relaxed. I think we're both doing better at giving each other the benefit of a doubt.

That has probably been the one and only "real" change I've seen from her. But it's most definitely important. If we can't lighten up in terms of communicating with each other, things were never going to get better.

A breakthrough for me and my W will most definitely be WAYYY down the road. If ever. Even if we were to move back in together, communication is good, no talk of D, I would not consider that a breakthrough. My W's big hangup is her safety. And for good reason which has been documented in this thread. And since she doesn't have that, the idea of physical contact with me is stomach churning to her. Until THAT returns, a breakthrough probably won't happen. That is several steps down the road though.