Well this its going to be as hard as you want, when we get the BD this are some of the things we do: Google every question that we have, google how to stop your divorce, google how to make her miss us, how to made her come back, how to how to how to how to.... Then we start to put "strategies to work" sandi rules...no contact and then we google again: does no contact works? How to text her to made her come back... A lot of work right? And.... Well its not working...she is not coming back.... I have to rent a plane and fly around her job with a big thing that says: honey I dont want to loose you and I am suffering!!! Why you dont come back?? Nah it doesnt work either hehhehe And here is the biggest struggle for all of us: well if I dont do everything I can she is never gonna come back and while I was googeling it says that if in 4 months ahe hasnt changed her mind it means I have no chance....
Now you come back here and start telling us your sitch, and you feel that the sitch of others similar to yours that ended reconciling are like yours so you can "made her love you again" Unfortunatelly there is no formula or steps to made her come back, bit I have great news there is a system that works 100% in making yourself happier and free, and increases indirectly the probabilities of Reconciliation, do you know which one is that system? Yep its DB and does exactly what it does, make you love yourself unconditionally.... But, bbb ut.. I saw in one of the chapters a sitch similar to mine and the guy reconcile with her, could I do exactly what he did? Yes you can, it will work? I have no idea... Imagine M like a videogame, you start with 3 lifes... At that point you have a complete acceptance of your wife...level one ended without problems, then in level 2 there are some annoying enemies, sometimes she doesnt do what I want, doesnt watch the movie I want and other annoying enemies... They kill one of your lifes, but you keep going without realizing, anyway you have 2 more lives.
Then level 3 and 4 and it comes level 5 pufff the biggest enemy ever and he f u up completelly, this enemy its called Affair, wow how do a kill this enemy? I had never had to deal w him....yes you loose your 2 lifes before you blink hehhehe Now there is zero acceptance, you hate her and many other feelings that control your life. Well this DB its your game guide to kill that monster, now you want to know why right?
To kill this monster follow sandi rules 100% and read about acceptance, when M have problems there is only one thing that has changed, the level of acceptance towards the other person, some people will tell you, go to the gym, run make friends, change jobs, date again....and they believe that will bring her back... Hmmm I dont think so, but everybody has an opinion, even your wife has one oh but hold on the opinion of your W its not following the same standars that you have, different moral values... What do you do then? You judge her, then that person that you loved a few months ago suddenly its another monster in that videogame...let me see how can I get ready of that monster.
You have 1000 weapons and the only thing you will know for sure about this forum is that 999 have been used by many users, many lost their M and some even came back with another destroyed M, but there is 1 weapon that people resist to get, the acceptance sword, that sword cuts every bad feeling, every pain and it changes you forever, you will never believe the same things you believe today.
When you complain or whine to her about why she did what she did. Hwr response always will be defensive, always, can somebody here verify that this statement its true? Buuut and here its the greatest part, when you embrace acceptance and you dont judge her, then there you suddenly dont get affected but what she does or who she is with, isnt that amazing? And then she might start very slowly even if you dont see it to come back, and to be a little more open, and the more that you accept the more she will come back. Do you know why she has an affair? Because the OM who is also a human being, he is accepting her at this moment no matter what, and you her H not, you are not accepting without judging, so she spends dinner with him and he accepts her so no confrontation and she doesnt feel judge.....
Then she sees you or hear about you and what are you doing and how you show yourself? As a non accepting her situation now and a guy who is judging her, honestly which one of those guys would you choose?
Is there the "formula" to bring her back? I dont know but certainly its the only weapon you can use if you want to love yourself unconditionally, to support you untill you reach the level 100% of acceptance you have this forum to vent here and sandi rules to follow them 100% nothing else will help you.
You are doing great and just keep doing what you are doing, accept your feelings as they are now, dont fight them, its necessary to feel like that.
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
there is a system that works 100% in making yourself happier and free, and increases indirectly the probabilities of Reconciliation, do you know which one is that system?