Well that didn't go well last night. I wrote up a parenting arrangement which included a modified plan for the next 2 weeks (to include half a week over spring break), then switching to a Friday to Friday plan after that. WAW was not happy with it. She ended up getting very defensive, and I have to admit, I did not compose myself very well either. Uggghha
It's because you are reacting on an emotional level with her, and she is dealing from a detached level with you. This dynamic will change with time and a lot of self awareness from you.
She is pushing away, and you are still wanting to pull her back...
She is trying to control, you are full of guilt, and she plays you like a $10 guitar...
Like I said yesterday...
Know YOUR plan Know YOUR faults Validate your wrongs
ANY changes that she sees, she is gonna try to break those over your head (and she is doing a damn fine job so far)
Originally Posted By: OneDay
She indicated this plan is working in my favor (as usual) and she will have the kids more weekend days than me. Which was true, so we slightly revised the plan which now consists of me having 4 weekend days with the boys and her having 5. Even with this, she still was still pi$$ed.
Lay this out for me to see. I'm not sure what you are saying about the 4 weekend days (cause my job doesn't recognize that one) , and the other five days.
When the hell did they expand a week to 9 days ?
: )
Originally Posted By: OneDay
Come to find out she had plans the last day of spring break and wanted to have that day free so she could go out on the boat with some "friends". She even asked If I would be willing to switch that day with her, but I said I was not able to.
Why are you not able to switch ?
Originally Posted By: OneDay
She then started giving me a guilt trip about my behavior, how I will never change, How I will never understand the pain I have caused her and the boys, How its always about you, and always will be.
When she was saying those things it HURT, It HURT really bad and still does.
Things that "sting", or hurt...
Those things have some truth behind them. And it's not that SHE doesn't like those things...
It is that YOU do not like those things within yourself....
Take a hard long look at those, and see how you could have behaved better, or done things differently in those situations..
Then ask yourself WHY did I act that way
Originally Posted By: OneDay
So today, Im feeling like cr@p. I know I made my fair share of mistake in our marriage. I know I put myself before others alot of the time. I know I would act like a Di#k and not care about her feelings. Its hard to keep hearing and it hurts deep down.
Feeling like crap today, probably feels different than feeling like crap did a few weeks ago...
Before, you felt that way because you thought that she was doing things to intentionally hurt you...
Today you feel like crap because you know that you could have done a whole lot better in those situations....
That is where your inner growth will happen.
THAT is the part that you will eventually want to thank her for...
Originally Posted By: OneDay
This road is hard, I don't know if I've even begun to change. "MY" ways are so deeply root within me and they are very, very difficult to change.
Whether you think that you can, or you think that you cannot....you are correct
