WAW Said She's Done-pt.4- What Happened?

[OneDay]

Well that didn't go well last night. I wrote up a parenting arrangement which included a modified plan for the next 2 weeks (to include half a week over spring break), then switching to a Friday to Friday plan after that. WAW was not happy with it. She ended up getting very defensive, and I have to admit, I did not compose myself very well either. Uggghha

She indicated this plan is working in my favor (as usual) and she will have the kids more weekend days than me. Which was true, so we slightly revised the plan which now consists of me having 4 weekend days with the boys and her having 5. Even with this, she still was still pi$$ed.

Come to find out she had plans the last day of spring break and wanted to have that day free so she could go out on the boat with some "friends". She even asked If I would be willing to switch that day with her, but I said I was not able to.

She then started giving me a guilt trip about my behavior, how I will never change, How I will never understand the pain I have caused her and the boys, How its always about you, and always will be.

When she was saying those things it HURT, It HURT really bad and still does.

So today, Im feeling like cr@p. I know I made my fair share of mistake in our marriage. I know I put myself before others alot of the time. I know I would act like a Di#k and not care about her feelings. Its hard to keep hearing and it hurts deep down.

This road is hard, I don't know if I've even begun to change. "MY" ways are so deeply root within me and they are very, very difficult to change.