I think I belong here....

[TL72*]

I'm sorry, I hope you have a better day today.
Don't let him see you crying, try and do that in private. I used to do it in the bathtub until he moved out. I know sometimes it's hard to control. Find some music that makes you feel better. For me I listen to something aggressive like old White Zombie or Rob Zombie because it makes me feel strength. weird I know. There are going to be a lot of bad nights, especially when you're living in limbo. When mine finally moved out (only a few weeks ago) I really felt like I was being torn in half. It was the most horrible night ever for me. After that it was better because I wasn't living it every day. I didn't want him to leave but it actually helped my mental situation I think. As far as the affection goes, I was doing that at first but then it wasn't working, he accepted it yes but did not reciprocate at all. Then I discovered it was pursuing behavior. I stopped doing that but we slept in the same bed and ML most nights. That I think is a personal decision and as long as you can do it without feeling used or having expectations. Keep reading all you can. Try different things and see what works.