A quick update, mostly about me. I want to hopefully show the people new to this journey (or stuck) that life will get better, if you do the needful for yourself, even while still stuck in limbo-land.
Detach. Stop trying to control the outcome. Stop looking for angles, quick fixes. Work on YOU, find YOU, it really is a gift of time in a crappy package. Rebuild YOU and YOUR life the way YOU want it to be. If they come out of the fog, they can catch up to YOU.
^^^ is all tough, tough stuff, took me a long time to get and master these things. Everyone gets where they need to be in their own time.
On to the update:
I went out with the boys in the band Saturday night. I have not been out in years now. There is such a natural fit...we are all successful in our careers, a bit nerdy, and we all have a naturally congruent sense of humor. Practices are filled with humor and laughter, and so was last night...just cracking up giggling (in manly ways). We went to this awesome Basque bar, where they are beer lovers so got to try a bunch of new craft and microbrews.
Ate some amazing lamb snacks and fended off cougars....man I am glad I chose to not go out after BD, that would have been dangerous. I'm in such a great place now that the danger doesn't exist...just liking the attention, yet bemused by it. And I swear I can tell the damaged ones, the mlc ones and the desperate ones...the eyes say so much when you have learned to look and read.
We then went to this 80's bar themed after the old movie "Hackers"...all the old video arcade games...originals, not remakes, real pinball machines, some Atari and Commadore 64 computers, and yet more awesome beers...and they all took real quarters!
Learned that the guitar players W went MLC, they are divorced and she is in the resentful, bitter, "this didnt turn out to be as magical as I thought" mode..so we had some great convo there. He eyes lit up with understanding when I used the "alien thing inhabiting my W" and "the switch flip" metaphors earlier at band practice. She is just nuts, he showed me her texts to him, her fb page...just wow. He has had to now legally restrict her to communication via one email address and only about the kids and the kids schedules. So many broken people. But he is good, he did the self-work and has moved forward strongly. He joked that as he gets closer to success, the more obstacles are put in his way (W spew/actions)...so he knows he is doing the right things.
He also did not want too may details of of my sitch, in case things worked out, because he didn't want any preconceived attitudes about W.
Anyway, I just love my freakin' life...even while still in limbo-land.
PMA >= "11"
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
