Need help saving my family - part 5

[ye21]

Ok, firs of all, as I told others, this is not a race to end in 4 days, we dont know why she is behaving this way and I have a feeling that you are trying to control her outgoing with your kids....
When you are in war you have wisely to choose which battles to fight... Will you go with a knife to fight 30 guys with ak-47? Hmmm maybe no right? You will spend time thinking and clarifying the best strategy.
So here you come asking for advice to all of us and all we can do is listen to you and give you emotional advice, ANY OTHER ADVICE, its kind of dangerous...
Would you go ask this things to the bartender of the restaurant where you had lunch 3 months ago?
Ok so calm down, take a breath, go for a walk enjoy the sun and give all this to the universe, I think you might be an impatient person and one that doesnt really love himself, well guess what, in your actual state of feelings you might ending loosing all.
She has no money... Is that your problem? No, you are responsable for yourself and the well being of your kids, if she cant afford to have them thats her problem and all you can do its accept that.
She doesnt want to be with you right now, thats fine, accept that, whatever she is doing or not doing its not your responsability, its hers and you know why she maybe is doing what she is doing? Because she knows that you are behind her to hold her when she falls....are you helping her doing that? Nop you are hurting her way more than what you think, le her choose her decissions, you choosed yours when you were a teenager and you loooved when nobody judged you for that, because of that accepting of the universe you learned...
Do the same here, apply the sandi rules, cut absolutelly all contact, just choose to pick up kids and thats it, dont email her about nothing else,
Accept that she needs to behave like that right now, but put boundaries.... You want to use me? Fine I am not gonna respond to you while you do that, you wanna insult me? Fine I am not gonna respond to you... You wanna talk to me calmly and in a mature way about whats the best for the kids? Here you are, now I will give you my time...
And thats all, look she can choose many things and the least you accept her choices and the more you judge her, the more painfull she is going to make it for you... You need to set the boundary of space and time now and not respond her untill you are ready... Let her do crazy stuff or whatever she feels, in a court of law and for God you will always be the father of those kids so just believe that one day all this will be much different... The way to make it different? Not acting on fear just accept, and accept and accept... And please dont sent no emails, just a super short one saying that from now on this are the days I want to pock up the kids....