On to Divorce and still litigating...new life.

[AJM]

Promises, never delivers.

If it helps Floyd, my ex is similar. That's kind of part of it though - the lack of integrity is only toward me (that I can tell) and only in the past few years. Is what it is, right? But you're not alone. I know others that are in the same boat as us; heck it may be getting crowded...



AJ

[ericmsant2]

Did I hear someone invite me to a Carrabean cruise? LOL. Seriously, I think a trip with you and the kids is a great idea. YOu should also try to go out with friends and have some adult time.

About 2 years ago, me and a few friends (all male) decided to set up a monthly poker night. We alternate at each others house and once a year we do a guys weekend camp trip (although my girlfriend calls it a sausage fest). I find these times with the guys, away from the kids to be a blessing.

So, continue to ignore your ex. The kids will come to expect less and less from her. Not your problem. Yes it [censored] for them, but you cannot fix it for them. Be the best dad you can be and leave the rest to God.

Peace,
Eric

[FloydMan]

Yes, you are right Eric.
Very difficult this past week on too much thinking and professional-wise. Gotta get back to me and let God guide me to and through my path. That I can control.
Gotta start this week to be me, control my destiny and career. Forget this past week(s).
At least the Canadian men's Olympic hockey team captured Gold this morning against the Swedes. That was a thrill. Yay!
Another poster on another thread recommended the film Stuck in Love. Just watched it now. Wow. Hit me on so many different levels and so many things were bang on the same. Caught myself choking up and holding back tears throughout. What a baby I can be. Though the film and these boards remind me that I and my kids are not alone in this hell. We will get out of it though.

[ericmsant2]

Just checking in...how are you doing FloydMan?

[FloydMan]

Has been a crazy week and a half. Litigation has stepped up. Looks like court bound for 3rd time. even and equitable is not good enough for her. So stupid...too long to type out. She is nuts and selfish and angry, and manipulative and puts kids in middle and can't stop it. She cancelled another tirip on the kids and blames me. how? ....cant figure that one out. The money bleed continues. Best thing going is time with my babies.

[mirage]

FloydMan,

If its any consolation you are not alone. My IRS filing was rejected last week as I found out my EXW used my youngest SS# as a dependent for the 2nd year in a row. So now its back to court.

My Exsil's ask me how I remain calm when there sister is such a selfish B#%%%#. They know pretty much what i'm going to say. "I can't control her behavior, I do what is necessary". I also normally laugh and say that all this has taught me that the internal peace I've gained through my own MLC and her's has been a blessing in my life.

I swear we don't know where this journey is leading us but if we allow it to carry us authentically through without too many preconceived notions it leads us to a place that is better for us........and then in turn teaches lessons to those who are watching us. What a legacy to leave your kids and your close friends and people you meet along the way.

Mirage

[Lostforwords]

Floyd,

I hate to say this....but as a dad to dad. I know things are tough financially, but you may need to intercede with the girls a bit. I think a short vacation (holiday) may be in order for you all.

Now my thoughts are purely on the girls here.....They have been severely disappointed for sure with these repeated cancellations. Now you have no control over what the EX does, but you do have control over what you do. Maybe you can make it up to the girls (without telling them what the real purpose is) by taking them on a holiday yourself. Make them feel special and loved....Make the whole holiday about them.

Do you see my point?

[AJM]

I agree with Lost. One of the things I find useful is to look ahead in my life and the life of my kids. And I ask myself, "what do I want to see when I look back?"

It helps Floyd. This is a point in time, and you don't control her or her actions. She will do what she does. What you do is what you'll have to look back and be ok with.

AJ

[ericmsant2]

Litigation has stepped up. Looks like court bound for 3rd time. even and equitable is not good enough for her.

Sorry to hear about the litigation. Have you tried giving her everything and living in a cardboard box. That might work. (that’s a joke). Seriously though, let the lawyers deal with you. You stay focused on you and the kiddos.

She is nuts and selfish and angry, and manipulative and puts kids in middle and can't stop it.

I know you know that you cannot control what she does or says. So accept that. I would suggest really working on have zero expectations from her. What I mean by this is….zero expectation of her being a good mom, zero expectation that you and her will co parent, zero expectations that you can even have a conversation. ZERO.

She cancelled another tirip on the kids and blames me. how?

Ummm….have you gotten the “it’s your fault the the polar ice cap is melting yet’? (Another joke). On a serious note, I totally agree with Lost and AJ comments. I small trip with the kiddo is what is in order. I understand that financially it may be a bit tight, if it is, find something inexpensive to do. Do you have family that live out of town- maybe you could stay with them to save the cost of a hotel? Is the weather warm by you? Can you take them camping? Something dude – anything. Be creative. Maybe a indoor water park? Check groupon, living social…. The kids need it and SO do you.

[FloydMan]

Has been 4 weeks since my request to travel with kids cross border....no response. Brutal. I granted her permission and she cancelled on the kids anyway.
Tomorrow we present a counter offer to settle. I upped the $'s. gotta end this stupidity. I think too much but will look good to court of my effort to settle.