I'm still giving H too much real estate in my thoughts. I need a way to stop thoughts as soon as they start.

Well you are doing pretty much well because as I say lately there is no wrong or right, so you will stop judging why he does this or that...we dont know what he thinks or feels, but as every relationship ans sitch here you have something in commom with all of us, you never know what is on the mind of the other person wink now you just have to spent time over with your feelings hehhehe hard this task but necessary in this new path of your life.
You set yourself a goal that is basically stopping yourself of feeling...would you stop yourself of breathing? No right? Well then just let the head go wherever the head wants to go and just make sure you dont act on it, that could be a more easy goal. Feelings are just feelings, I live in Ny sometimes I want to kill a taxi driver....but I accept those feelings and not act on them..thank God!!
This pain you are suffering its very necessary just learn how to live with it and not act on it, in a week you go back and think is what I was thinking last week something I am thinking the same way today? And so on untill you are pretty sure of whats going on...

Your H might seem cold and feelingless about this whole situation and maybe he is suffering terribly...or he is not, accept what you can accept and that is that he is being cold and you are not going to judge him for that, once you see yourself jidging him, step back and breath deeply, you have the right to do that.

When we receive the BD we think everything has to be resolved in a short period of time so we try to cut times and fix it right away, instead of accepting and let it happen that way because thats the way its supposed to happen and God wants to happen.

I remember when I was young and I had my first drink or took the car of my father without permission, I feel I was doing the wrong thing, and the true is that I was doing what God wanted me to do at that time, my dad accepted that I did that and didnt recriminated me for that and you know what? I stopped doing it... Other times when my father didnt accept what I did I feel frustrated and upset and did it even worse....
I am trying to show you that only when we accept what others do and accept means accept no matter the results, no matter if your H its hurting his feelings or not, its his choice and he will maybe learn from it. When we accept, the universe and our lives change drastically and so everybody around us.

Let him do whatever he wants, set boundaries so some of his choices doesnt hurt you and accept that his choices are those at that particular time.

Do you remember your first boyfriend? Do you hate him for the things he did? Or the second boyfriend or one that hurts you in the past?
Do you know why you are not affected by their actions no more? Because even if it took you time, you ended accepting their decissions even if they hurt you... So its on you to do the same, the more you choose to control and manipulate your H the more this is gonna hurt you...the more you do sandi rules like when you went shopping for dishes, the more close to other human beings and to love you will be... It sounds weird right? You tried to underestand whats going on with him, why why why why why and it didnt work.. This is my only why for you

WHY dont you do the opossite and just accept his actual choices? wink

When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.